I was at a wedding and wedding reception on the weekend, and as a result had an opportunity to watch a number of informal speeches.

Now generally speaking, I’m not about to judge an amateur speaker at a wedding reception in the same way that I’d judge a professional. Still, I was struck by the way one speaker kept his arms crossed over his chest as he spoke.

Whether you’re speaking, or the person being spoken to, avoid that posture. It projects the wrong image and makes you appear to be closed to what’s going on around you.

If you’re speaking, it appears you’re holding something back or you’re not sincere about what you’re saying. If you’re being spoken to, it appears you’re closed to the message, and not accepting what’s being said.

Crossed arms fall into the same general category of unconscious gestures as hands tightly clasped in front of the lower body (commonly done by women) or standing with hands in pockets (commonly done by men).

Of course, there are times when you might strategically cross your arms. For example, in a debate or argument, you might cross your arms to signify to others that you don’t accept what’s being said by the other side.

But, those exceptions are rare, and at all other times you should try to keep your arms at your sides unless moving them in purposeful gestures.