Among the gaffes in my early days as a radio announcer was saying ‘abominable’ when I meant to say ‘abdominal’.

That happened because I took information directly from a police report about a car accident. Now, an abdominal injury can be an abominable injury, but all in all it’s not the kind of slip-up we want to make. And that’s especially true when you’re speaking about an accident in which someone has been hurt.

So, the next time I came across ‘abdominal’ in a report, I changed it to ‘stomach,’ which even I couldn’t mangle much.

I have a couple of other words on my ‘must change’ list. You may have some too if you’ve done any public speaking or made many presentations. Those words that somehow just come out wrong when you speak. Or, equally annoying, the words you worry about before you get to them.

On this subject, I like the coward’s way out, which is to rewrite anything that might trip me up when I’m speaking, or make me worry before I get to it. One of the great benefits of practicing a speech or presentation is the opportunity it gives us to find those words or phrases in advance.

And, if you can’t avoid them altogether, practice them. But, not by themselves – practice them within a phrase, or even better, within a sentence. By memorizing the whole sentence you’ll have some sense of rhythm that will help you roll right past the troublesome word.

Which brings us to the third, and least preferable, solution, which is to ignore your trouble with the word and just keep going as if nothing had happened. In radio news, for example, there are times when you can’t skip an important name, so you do your best and keep moving. Many of those who hear you won’t know or won’t care about the proper pronunciation, while others will only hear the tone, not the exact words. By staying focused on the message, rather than the individual words you help both yourself and your audience.

Following up on my previous post on communicating with angry people (please scroll down the page to the next post to read it), here’s some practical advice (some of it based on my own experience in a customer service position)…

You may recall the cliche that came out the old Dragnet series, “Just the facts, ma’am,” made famous by the show’s leading character (was it Sergeant Joe Friday?).

When you’re dealing with an emotional person, though, forget about the facts until the other person blows off some steam. And, don’t try to explain — yet.

Your first job is to listen, and to listen with both ears and both eyes. You listen so you’ll understand the complaint. And, chances are, it has several components.

First, it probably has something to do with the angry person not being heard or taken seriously in past encounters. Second, listen for an injustice, whether real or perceived. Third, listen for the chain of reasoning that supports the complaint.

As you listen, watch the body language, too. At the beginning of the vent, expect the body language to be quite vehement. As the vent continues, you should see a relaxing of the body, and a reining in of the gestures. Only when the gestures become relatively normal, should you respond. Until then, just nod and perhaps say something empathetic like, “I understand.”

Once the other person has calmed down, ask a few questions, even if you think you understand completely. Those questions help you lay the foundation for the solution you are about to propose.

Finally, and only after the other person settles down and you’ve asked some questions, only then do you proceed to talk and offer solutions.

It’s also quite possible by this point, in my experience at least, that the other person will have begun formulating a solution of their own. Whichever way it happens, by listening and questioning first, you’re both quite likely to come away from the encounter with a satisfactory solution.

By: Robert F. Abbott

I see in my newspaper that a number of bylaw enforcement officers have just gone through an extensive communication training course. In doing so, they’re following in the steps of police officers who took the course earlier.

Listening skills got a lot of attention in the course, because the bylaw enforcement officers, including the officers who hand out parking tickets, deal with lots of angry citizens.

In the course, the officers learn to let unhappy citizens vent their anger, then follow up with detailed explanations of what happened and why. They also learn not to get distracted by the emotional delivery of the people with whom they’re dealing.

Most of us could benefit from these lessons, too. What with road rage and the stress of modern living, there’s no shortage of unhappy and emotional people around us.

Personally, I got a good taste of it when I spent a year as a governor of a minor hockey league: all kinds of parents and team managers had complaints of one kind or another.

And, I learned from the experience that nothing works as well as letting unhappy people vent for a while. They may be completely wrong, but until they’ve blown off that steam, it’s pretty much impossible to have a rational conversation with them.

In fact, while watching a colleague sell life insurance, I learned that an unhappy person who’s allowed to vent can end up being very agreeable afterward. Perhaps it has something to do with guilt, or some other factor. But, whatever it is, no one’s quite so agreeable as the person who just dumped all their frustrations and anger on you.

In many confrontational situations, the anger or emotion built up because no one listened. So, it helps to remember that the angry person isn’t necessarily angry at you personally, it’s just that you’re the one who was there when the last straw landed on the camel’s back. And that when the anger has gone, you’ll be the ‘good guy’ in their minds.

In other cases, anger builds because the person on the other side doesn’t know about the rules or why they exist. For example, officers who issue parking tickets may seem like little dictators, and yes, it may seem unfair when they ticket you just a minute after your meter expires. But, our elected officials created that rule, and for good reasons.

Getting others to understand that balance between the good of society as a whole and the good of the individual who just received a ticket does take more than average communication skills. So, I’m sure that the bylaw enforcement officers will find their jobs somewhat easier, now that they’ve learned how to handle irate citizens.

Similarly, the rest of us can learn from them that there are ways to deal with difficult customers and colleagues.

During the glory days of radio, the medium had a tremendous impact because of the ability of writers and announcers to create images in the minds of listeners. And they created those images with just spoken words.

To some extent, radio still does that today. Like their predecessors, radio people of today help listeners experience an idea with several senses, even though they have only one at their disposal: hearing. As you know, we have five physical senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell.

Listen to a radio commercial for a holiday on a tropical island, and you might hear the announcer trigger several senses with something like this, “Imagine all your cares drifting away as you lie on the beach, watching the waves roll in, listening to the surf breaking, and feeling the sand slip between your fingers….”

Obviously, you can use several senses, too, when you speak or make a presentation. A good speech or presentation gives the audience more than one way to grasp your message. And, unlike writing, speaking allows us to explicitly use at least two of them: sight and hearing. What’s more, we can also use the imagination of each audience member to trigger other senses as well. You’ll find metaphors, analogies, and similes helpful for this.

And, questions, too, help us involve the listener. For example, you might lead off your speech by asking, “Have you smelled the air after a rainshower? Doesn’t that make you think of new beginnings? Today, I’d like to speak about new beginnings of a different kind….”

Let the quality and style of awards reflect the achievement of the employee. All too often we see great accomplishments marked with cheap, generic trophies or plaques that say “Thanks, but we really don’t care!” You might as well go all the way and present the distinguished honoree with something like this: “I saved the company a million dollars and all I got was this cheap T-shirt!”

Let the punishment fit the crime, and let the award fit the achievement. If employees are being honored for something that saved thousands, if not tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars, then present something which they’ll proudly display. And, after all, why are you presenting the award if they didn’t do something of significant value to the company or organization.

For example, consider corporate awards of crystal or crystal globe. At Able Trophies you’ll see crystal that’s lead-free and extremely hard; that allows for brilliant cuts and bevels, to go with the hand-polished surfaces. This crystal is molded in sheets that are up to three inches thick and subjected to pressures that completely eliminate bubbles, flow lines, and other distortions. Within that context, awards can be shaped and formed into unique shapes and designs, reflecting the uniqueness of the employee contribution.

When selecting employee awards, think too about the message you’ll put on it. Glass awards with custom etched glass lettering has a unique look and feel that sends just the right message. It says we care enough to present you with a trophy or plaque that is beautiful, elegant, and imbued with rich character.

Employee and corporate awards shouldn’t be given out for just anything. Nor should you give just anything in recognition. Visit a supplier like Able Trophies and let the award fit the achievement.

Newspaper reporters have a somewhat unique style of writing. That is, they get all the essential information into the first paragraph or two, and everything after that elaborates on the content of that first paragraph.

They write that way for a reason: At any point after the first paragraph their articles may be cut. When editors and layout people finalize a paper, as they do every day, they cut articles to make them fit the space available. Their motto might well be, “All the news that’s cut to fit.”

The reporter style can help the rest of us when we’re not sure how much of our memos or messages will be read. For example, if I post an article to a bulletin board, I wouldn’t expect readers to spend a lot of time reading it. Instead, I’d assume they’ll read the headline at the top of the page and perhaps the first bit of it. After all, they may be just pausing on their way to or from the coffee room, or they may be interrupted by the arrival of another person.

On the other hand, if I distribute the message to each intended recipient personally, then I’d expect most of it to be read. Similarly, I might expect that the people who report to me will be more likely to read all of it than my peers.

In any case where there’s doubt that your whole message will be read, put the essential message in the first paragraph, as concisely and clearly as possible (yes, I know, conciseness and clarity can lead us in opposite directions).

For example, a first paragraph might read this way, “Effective immediately, please submit all completed expense reports directly to Accounts Payable, rather than to your supervisor.” Then, start a series of new paragraphs where you explain the reasons for the change, the benefits of the new policy, and anything else that’s relevant. Now, you know that at least the critical part got an airing, even if the rest did not.

In the previous post (please scroll down to see it), I wrote about the value — and difficulty in formulating — concise questions. Even many professionals, including journalists, have difficulty doing it. In this followup piece, I have some suggestions that will help you prepare yourself to ask quick and effective questions.

It is difficult to ask good, concise questions. And, quite frankly it’s something most us need to prepare for and practice to do well. Don’t forget: those well-crafted questions from many television anchors are based on years of practice.

To prepare to ask quick and effective questions, you need to take the strategic route. That means you figure out what you want to accomplish before asking the first question.

Do you want to gather information? To get honest or sincere responses? To advance a relationship?

Once you know where you’re going with your questions, you can start to craft them. If you want to gather information, for example, you’ll start by asking open-ended questions and then narrow their scope as you proceed.

On the other hand, if you’re trying to find out why something went wrong and your customers are mad, you’ll probably ask a series of closed-end questions. You don’t want wide-ranging responses in these circumstances; you want specifics.

For relationship building, whether professional or personal, you’ll use open-ended questions that allow the other person to offer opinions and preferences. Check out the questioning techniques used by skilled salespeople next time you go shopping.

Whatever your aim, you’ll find you’re more effective if you take these simple steps before asking questions.

By Robert F. Abbott

Mark Twain once famously said that if he’d had more time, he’d have written a shorter letter.

In saying that, he captured a truth that most professional writers and speakers recognize: that being brief is more difficult than going on at length.

The same holds true for asking questions. As a former radio news reporter and announcer, I’ve had lots of opportunities to ask unscripted questions. And, quite frankly, I know that it’s as hard to ask a concise question as it is to write a concise document.

So, what happens when we ask unscripted questions, which are obviously the most common kinds of questions? How do they get long or wordy?

First, we try to provide context that guides the answer. For example, consider the reporter who asks this kind of question: “Given that we only have another two months before the end of the season, and that you’re having trouble meeting your budget as it is, do you expect the expansion to proceed?” The simple question, of course, would simply be, “Do you expect the expansion to proceed?”

To avoid this kind of preamble and to make your question more concise, ask yourself who needs the context. In most cases, the person being interviewed doesn’t need it. He or she likely knows the background issues more thoroughly than you do.

We also use long, drawn out questions to give ourselves time to think of a new question. Or, we may ramble as we try to figure out exactly how to word a question. For example, a reporter interviewing a politician might go on at length, while trying to figure out how to word a question so the politician can’t evade it.

Or, a questioner wants to impress the person being questioned, or others. Watch reporters at a news conference and you’ll often see them try to steal the show, in effect, with their questions.

Having looked at several reasons for unnecessarily lengthy questions, let’s make a few recommendations:

First, know why you’re asking the questions, and what kind of information you want to gather. If it’s social chatter, then you’re probably just looking for connections between yourself and the other person. If you’re interviewing a potential employee, then you’ll want to find out about the other person’s character, experience, and expertise.

Stay focused on one issue: If you try to gather information about several subjects at the same time, you probably won’t get useful responses to any of them.

Ask follow-up questions. The first answer usually provides a springboard for the next question, and so on. Probe more deeply or widen the circle with follow-up questions.

Listen. Probably no other aspect of interviewing or asking questions is as frequently ignored as this one. Over and over, I hear questioners ask something, then ignore the answer as they mentally work on the next question. What we should do instead is look at the other person and listen to the whole message, which includes the words, the way the words are expressed, and the body language. Only then will we grasp the answer well enough to ask a good follow-up question. And, a concise question at that!

It’s important to arrive at your speaking venue early, for a couple of reasons. First, being on time means you’ll be calm (or at least calmer than you would be if you were late), you’ll have a chance to chat with the person who will introduce you, and you’ll have a chance to acclimatize your mind to the room.

Let’s address this issue of acclimatizing through several specific questions that will help you prepare yourself:

* Where will you stand? I find it helpful to know where the lectern will be, so I can mentally picture myself standing there and speaking. In some cases, that’s simply mental preparation. But, I can also recall a recent speech from a packed table, when I had to use my elbows (so to speak) to make my speaking materials accessible.

* Where will you sit before going to the lectern? If you have to walk down or across the room to get to it, it’s helpful to know what hurdles might be in the way. Will you have to step over an extension cord, for example, or squeeze between members of the audience? With a little planning, you might shorten your route, and make it easier to navigate gracefully.

* Through which door will late-comers arrive? If you have a choice, ask to speak from the end opposite where the latecomers will arrive — you want as few distractions for the audience as possible. If you have to speak from the late arrivals end, then minimize disruptions by saying to the latecomers as they come in (and look lost), “Welcome to XYZ meeting — you’ll be able to find a seat over there.” as you point out the direction.

* How big is the room? Another way of asking, “How loudly will I have to speak?” or perhaps finding out whether or not you’ll need to use a microphone. By arriving early, you’ll have a chance to make that decision calmly, and mentally adjust your speaking volume in advance.

* How many people? This raises another couple of issues. For example, if it turns out I’m speaking to a very small group, I’ll be more informal and interactive than I would be with a larger group. Again, arriving early gives me a chance to decide that calmly, and to prepare myself for whichever style I choose.

All simple, and seemingly Speaking 101 questions. But, it’s surprising how often we can prepare ourselves for the big problems, yet get tripped up by the little ones. That’s why I like to arrive in time to acclimatize my mind to the room.

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